


Here's to Us

by stardustedknuckles



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Blood, Canon Timeline, F/F, First Kiss, Flash Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Spoilers for 123, a lot happened today okay, and probably after too, i'll keep writing them until they have one, it is four thirty AM y'all, slight emotional h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29060475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustedknuckles/pseuds/stardustedknuckles
Summary: They've made it to Essek, half frozen and exhausted, but before they sit down for some much-needed food and rest, Yasha needs to get the blood off Beau's face and some thoughts off her chest.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 14
Kudos: 268





	Here's to Us

**Author's Note:**

> Written straight down the page. I am barely awake and writing about exhaustion didn't help lol. But I was still wired when I started and didn't want to leave it til tomorrow. What a night huh.

They arrived at the outpost in the early hours of the morning, with thankfully nothing more in the way of conflict. The guards were surprised but deferred to Essek, who greeted them warmly and cleared a room for them.

"Please eat," he said. "Rest. And then tell me what has happened."

"There are some things you need to know immediately," Caleb said. A spark flickered between the two wizards, but Yasha hauled Beau past them and straight into the washing area of the simple barracks.

Food and rest were great, but Beau's face - semi-frozen blood tracks still ran from her eyes and her ears and her mouth, and she was trembling with a mixture of exhaustion and cold. Yasha had known better than to try and offer her any sort of comfort while she'd still worn the grim expression of determination, but now they were inside and it had faded along with her last dregs of energy and Yasha couldn't stand it.

The washroom had a screen for privacy, and Yasha tugged Beau gently behind it to sit her on the bench and squeeze the rag out of the jug of water at the end of it.

"Will you let me clean up your face?"

Beau blinked at her from behind her awful mask of blood - Lucien had done this, that creature wearing her friend's body - and mumbled something of an assent.

Yasha worked steadily but carefully, using her free hand to apply light pressure to Beau's jaw and get her to turn. Something was still nudging at Yasha's own tired mind, words she'd been unable to address in the moment and which were now lodged in her on a loop alongside the image of Beau dangling by the throat, choking quietly as blood poured from her.

There were bruises from his fingers. Yasha pressed her fingertips to Beau's pulse and felt a knot loosen inside of her as she watched them fade. Now, she thought, she might be able to get her thoughts out. 

"Beau," she began. Beau startled from an exhausted kind of half-sleep and met her eyes.

"Yeah?"

"About earlier, what you said. You offered to ask the somn…whatever. Those are part of why you have that eye, aren't they?"

Beau closed her eyes again as Yasha wiped the blood down from her neck, and Yasha didn't like how much she looked braced for a reprimand. "I know it's not a great idea, but it hasn't…done anything yet. I find things out. It's what I do."

Yasha frowned and turned Beau's head to dab at her other ear. "I'm not going to tell you what you should do," she said softly. "Or…scold you, or anything. I'm not…you don't need that from me."

There was something of wariness lingering in the look Beau gave her, but it seemed softer now. "I just don't see a point shying away from a resource like that when everything's the way it is. Even if I get a new one every night, we're not planning to let this thing ride for eight more days anyway. Why shouldn't I use it to help us?"

Yasha had cleaned away all she could to Beau's neckline, and she hesitated. "Do you want…?"

Beau looked down at her fur cloak and seemed to realize for the first time how caked in dirt and blood it was. She nodded quickly and sat still while Yasha pulled the clasp open and slid it off to pile next to her.

"I know you know what you're doing," Yasha continued. "I trust you with…with anything, really." She was rewarded with the ghost of a blush along Beau's cheeks, a shadow of a smile too faint to be sharp with cynicism. "I just want to make sure you know. I care very much for you, and I can't protect you from this." Her hand faltered as she glanced at Beau's, lying wrapped and unassuming inside her glove. "Obviously."

Now Beau squinted at her, still sleep-fuzzed but searching. "That had nothing to do with you," she said. "You're not seriously taking blame for this, are you?"

She ducked her head obligingly as Yasha wiped the back of her neck, and like this her temple was so, so close to resting on Yasha's stomach. She allowed herself a moment to consider what that might be like, Beau relaxing into her here, and then she set the image aside and finished.

"I don't know what to make of it," she confessed. "I just know…you were all in my room, I was guarding the door, and something happened to you anyway." She placed a hesitant hand on Beau's cheek, and she stiffened but didn't pull away as she sat up to look at Yasha. "You don't need my protection, but I think sometimes, I just want to remind you that your life isn't something we want you to trade away."

Beau nodded slowly, eyes heavy. "Just seemed the most direct route to what we needed."

"I know," Yasha said. She chose her words as carefully as she could, thankful that exhaustion had at least removed most of the barrier of nerves so she could speak plainly. "I couldn't bring myself to kill you, Beau."

She didn't expect Beau's face to flush dark, but the scowl that came across her features was one Yasha was fairly certain was hiding something else. "Not you," she muttered. "I wouldn't ask…fuck, Yasha, if I'm not me anymore, then it's already done, but -"

"None of us could," Yasha said firmly. "Okay, maybe Caleb, but I think we're assuming if you're lost then so is he."

Beau's mouth quirked. "Probably."

Yasha let go of Beau's face reluctantly and thought for just a moment that Beau might have leaned to follow. She was barely awake now, that was all. Soothed by the rag and the exhaustion of the day washing over her. "Just think about that, please. When you think of reading the book or talking to them. I know you can assess risk, but I'm asking. Don't…be so free with your betting?"

She definitely wasn't imagining Beau's knee pressing gently into the side of hers where she stood between them, though Beau's face gave nothing away. "I'll keep that in mind," she said, and it was good enough because it had to be.

"Come on." Yasha set the rag on the bench and threw Beau's cloak back over her shoulders. "Let's eat and get some rest for tomorrow.

She had to pull a great deal of Beau's weight off the bench, and then when she stepped she swayed slightly and gripped Yasha's arm for support. Yasha braced her on reflex, hand going to her waist, and Beau glanced from the contact to Yasha's face. There was something there that Yasha couldn't place, something complicated further smudged by the day's toll, and then without warning Beau leaned in and rested against her chest in a kind of almost-hug.

"Today sucked."

Haltingly, Yasha brought up her other arm and laid it carefully over Beau's back. "It really did, didn't it?"

Slowly, some of the leftover tension worked its way from Beau's shoulders, and her hand came up to grasp the inside of Yasha's elbow and hang there. "That kiss with Fjord and Jester was pretty sweet though."

Yasha chuckled. "It was very sweet. I'm glad to see them - finding happiness, I suppose?"

"Yeah."

There was a weight to that one word, and Yasha brushed her thumb along Beau's back. "Are you…thinking of anything?"

Beau looked up at her. "Do you want that?"

It was Yasha's turn to blink - heavily, she noticed. Sleep was calling to her. "Is that the same thing as doing it the right way?"

"I think maybe the right way has some assumptions baked in. I'm mostly interested in what you want."

That was easy enough. "I want to kiss you very badly," Yasha said.

The grin that spread across Beau's face came easier now. "I hoped you might say that." She gathered more of her weight under her to straighten up, and like this all Yasha had to do was lean down just that little bit…

Their lips met chastely, a kind of soft contrast to how Yasha might have imagined. It felt perfect for the moment though, a kind of promise to the future they were working hard to keep from collapsing around their ears. Without the need for communication, they both leaned in for an immediate second, and they both pressed in just a little more.

Warmth spread in Yasha, diffused by the raw feeling left in the wake of the night's adrenaline but pleasant and magnified when she felt Beau smile against her.

"Let's go get some of that food now, yeah?" Beau's lips brushed hers as she spoke, proximate as they still were, and her eyes when Yasha let go of her waist to touch her chin were dark.

"Yeah," said Yasha. "And then we sleep."

Beau groaned. "Gods, yes. Then we fuckin' sleep." She pushed herself up and away, hesitated before taking Yasha's hand in hers and looking back.

Yasha smiled encouragement and followed her out from behind the screen and back into the main room. She could smell something hot and salty and soupy, and that plus Beau's hand in hers did a lot to ease some of the effects of the day. Food and rest. And maybe, if they were both lucky, a dreamless night and another chance to kiss again soon.

She could hope, and she did.


End file.
